Wish Come True

Dear Big Sister (no pun intended),

It is said that to be older is to be wiser.  I beg to differ.  Let me explain.

When we were younger I broke my leg.  You were jealous.  You thought I was faking.  I wasn't faking.  And if I was faking I did such an amazing job that I was rewarded with 3 surgeries on that broken leg and an Oscar.  Why oh why didn't you believe me?  I remember you getting so angry with me because of the gifts and attention I received from family and friends that you hit my casted leg with your fist.  (I'm shaking my head just thinking about it.)  Did it hurt your hand?  Probably.  So, so sad, sister.  I can see you now as a child wishing on birthday candles and shooting stars for the joy of a broken leg.  Kind of pathetic if you ask me.  Crutches aren't all they're cracked up to be.  They equal raw sweaty armpits and slipping on wet floors.  It's not pretty.

Is it true that you were so jealous of my injury that you jumped off the neighbor's trampoline attempting to break your own leg?  (still shaking my head)  If only we had known of your emotional damage earlier we may have been able to get you help.  But here we are, nearly 20 years later and you still can't move on, can you?  But dropping a sprinkler on your foot?  Really?  Oh well.  There's nothing I can do about it and not much to say except, congratulations.  You finally got what you wished for.  Good luck limping on that swollen club.  And next time, be careful what you wish for. 

With love,

Little Sister

Mr. McGraw

See that little person on stage?  That's Mr. McGraw.

I had a hot date this weekend.  H-O-T!  My hot date and I went to the Tim McGraw/Lady Antebellum concert.  Good music.  Good times.  Good company.  Good people watching.  Correction......weird people watching!  In fact, the word "weird" is an understatement.  I don't even know how to describe the people that walk the earth or stagger into country music concerts.  The little posse I was with (although I'm biased) was very cute and normal.  But really?  To the other concert goers out there, what made you think that it was okay to leave the house wearing that?  Or rather, what made you think that it was okay to leave the house wearing lack of that? 

At one point during the concert women started throwing bras on the stage.  I'm not sure what mortified me more....the fact that they were throwing their bras on stage, or the fact that they were throwing grandma bras on stage.  Note to self, should I ever attend a concert and decide to remove my bra to throw it on stage, wear a fancy pretty bra, not a flesh colored ginormous comfort Playtex bra.  Granny panties are worn for comfort, not fashion.  Granny bras are likewise.  And for the record, de-bra-ing myself in public really isn't my style.  I'm more of a private undresser.

Concert concessions.  Hmmmmm...where to begin.  I would like to shake hands with the genius that figured out a way to buy a pack of Dasani water bottles and sell them for $3.50/bottle.  I hate you, whoever you are, but I must congratulate you on what could possibly be one of the most annoying yet smartest and most profitable ideas ever.  (clap, clap, clap)  Well done, Concession Man.  (clap, clap, clap)  Well done!  You finagled me out of $7.

We were told before the concert (which is rumor of course) that before going on stage Mr. McGraw runs 3 miles to achieve the sheen and glimmer he prefers having on his skin for his performance.  I will agree that his sheen was nicely accomplished.  However after seeing his skinny jeans I beg to differ the reasoning behind his running 3 miles.  Don't get me wrong, he wore them well.  But most people would require far more running than 3 miles to squeeze their lower half into those drain pipes.  Just sayin'. 

And PS -- Does Mr. McGraw ever take off his cowboy hat?  Food for thought.

Sharpies

Sharpies.  Permanent.  Black.  (usually)

Kids.  Messy.  Carefree.  Creative.  Funny.  (always)

Child: "Look, mom!  I wrote my name two times on my toys!"  (big smile on little face; black Sharpie in right hand; toys in left hand)

Mom: "Ohhhhhhhh....." (raised eyebrows on scared big face)

Questions as to proper parental behavior:
Should I...
(a) Applaud the use of letters, spelling, and penmanship? 
(b) Run like mad around the house looking for more brandings while screaming about the word "permanent"?
(c) Both of the above?

to be continued...