To All You Non-Perfect Mothers

Put your feet up for 3 minutes, sip a Diet Coke and read the following link.  It expresses everything I was thinking...and then some.  

Happy Mother's Day! 

From one non-perfect mother to another.  

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Welcome to Aeropostle!

I never go to the mall.  Well, mostly never.  Maybe once or twice a year for something specific that I can't find anywhere else.  But I avoid the mall when possible.  Unfortunately I ran into the mall last week to grab a couple of birthday gifts for my daughter's friend's birthday parties.  I figured Aeropostle would be an easy one stop shop for everything cute, girly, and tween.  

It just so happened on the day that I went shopping at the mall at Aeropostle that I was wearing a hoodie that I had gotten from Aero several years ago.  Nothing fancy.  In fact, between my mom jeans and my hoodie I was just this side of frumpy.  But I was running errands and all about comfort and simplicity.  Besides, I love hoodies.  Love them!  Wish I had one in every color and wish I could wear one everyday.  And although they aren't necessarily fashionable, they complete me in a Jerry Maquire kind of way.  As I walked into Aeropostle that day wearing my green hoodie I was instantly approached by a young 20-something-year-old gal.  She was wide eyed and grinning ear to ear.  She greeted me with an enthusiastic, "Welcome to Aeropostle!  Your sweater is so pretty!"  (imagine this statement in a Legally Blonde kind of way)  

Hold on!  

Pretty?

Seriously?

First of all, I don't think I would classify this as a "sweater".  It's a hoodie.  Hoodie!

Second of all, nothing about this "sweater" screams "pretty" to me.  Cute?  Maybe.  Comfy.  Absolutely!  But pretty?  Uhhhhhhh.....no.

Needless to say, cheesy "I work on commission" girl sold me a whoppin' $14 worth of nail polish & t-shirts.  I considered buying more.  But I couldn't get over the initial obviously exaggerated lie of a compliment.  

Nope.  Still not over it.

(The picture above is not the actual hoodie I was wearing.  Mine is darker green, much much older, and stained most likely with smears of spit-up and Cheetos.)

Think Before You Speak

As a parent, I am constantly putting my foot in my mouth.  But thankfully, today it wasn't me that had to eat their words.  It was Handsome.  He offered each of the kids a quarter for every weed that they pulled in the yard, in hopes of getting some yard work done.  Needless to say, the kids were ecstatic about the idea of earning money, and within 10 minutes my 6-year-old came inside and proudly announced that he had pulled 124 weeds.  124!!!  In less than 10 minutes!  That's $31.00!  I tried to remind my husband that when I was a child we were offered a nickle for each weed we pulled, and we easily pulled enough to make 5 or 10 bucks which was considered a hefty payday.  Why a quarter?  Why oh why?  A nickle...a dime...anything less than a quarter!  Since Handsome wasn't home during our weed pulling contest, I was giving him play-by-play's via text.  All I got in response was a four lettered word with an exclamation point.  Oops!  Think before you speak next time!  And get a second job.

What's For Lunch?

Food gives me anxiety.  Clarification.....lack of food gives me anxiety.  Can you say eating disorder?  Nah, not that kind of lack of food.  Empty cupboards and a bare fridge.  That's what really gives me anxiety.  It's a mystery my husband still can't figure out.  But for some reason, as a mother, there is something comforting about having my cupboards and refrigerator and pantry stocked to the max that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  I have come to the conclusion that comfort connected to large quantities of food is because it makes my job as a mother that much easier.  I have choices.  I have options.  I can cook from scratch on my slow days and resort to sandwiches and cold cereal on my crazy days.  Not to mention that there is something satisfying about being able to feed your children without having to ration fruit snacks and slices of bread. 

This is my menu with stocked shelves.

Breakfast:  You choose!  Lucky Charms?  Oatmeal?  Banana?  Good...good...and good!  Whatever you want my little monkeys!  Eat up!

Snack: Hmmmm....fruit snacks are in the cupboard, fruit is in the fridge, and crackers are in the pantry.  Help yourself!

Lunch: Sandwiches sound good.  Tuna?  PB&J?  Ham?  Grilled cheese?  Yes, yes, yes, and yes!  Plus a side of yogurt and a brownie to top it off.  Yum!

Snack: How about some homemade cookies?  You're welcome!  

Dinner: Chicken alfredo with a salad and garlic bread?  Done!

Second Dinner: How about a bowl of cereal?  I don't mind if I do!  (This, of course, only applies to me and I'll take it in my bed while I watch Castle.)

Yup!  Easy peasey lemon squeezey.  Breakfast, lunch, and dinner with snacks in between.  Now that is the life!

This week at our house is Mother Hubbard week.  I have to be creative.  I hate being creative.  Especially when I don't have time.  And with work, scouts, and soccer x 4, I don't have time.  But heaven forbid I break my rules and go to the store early!  No way, Jose!  We'll tough it out.  And this is how we're doing it.

Breakfast:  No cereal.  No fruit.  No milk.  Dang it!  Oatmeal again!  Blah!

Snack: Homemade peach muffins from yesterday will do.  Not bad!

Lunch: The kids don't like what they're serving at school.  And it looks like they've already packed a lunch.  Probably a sandwich.  Wait!  We're out of bread.  Ugh!  How about a leftover steak from Sunday dinner, the last apple in the house, and another muffin?  It's edible!  Buh-bye!  Have a nice day!

Snack:  Day 6 of afternoon popcorn.  Who knew this popcorn popper that was a wedding gift would come in so handy?  Thank you!

Dinner: Something with noodles because the kids will actually eat it.  Homemade mac 'n cheese?  Tuna casserole?  Oh wait!  We have a few eggs left.  Maybe some homemade pancakes!  But there's no milk & we've got soccer tonight!  Well, I'll mix up some dry milk and it will do nicely.  Pancakes it is!  And homemade maple syrup too.  Who cares if we don't get dinner til 10:00 PM?  It's better than not at all!

Second dinner: I'm out of ideas.  Maybe a muffin.  (Heaven forbid I skip second dinner!)

So as you can see, having my cupboards stocked and my fridge overflowing is a luxury I enjoy.  It is definitely one I can survive without.  But if I have the choice, I choose food!  Lots of food!  And options in food!  Easy food!  Prepackaged food!  Homemade food!  I love it all.  And I love to cook and bake.  I'm a homemade type of gal.  But making bread everyday just for sandwiches and to dip in soup just doesn't fit into my schedule.  I know!  Carolyn Ingles would be ashamed!  But Carolyn Ingles is fictional and lived before microwaves and chicken nuggets.  (Bless her heart!)  I am very spoiled!  I have never truly starved and neither have my children.  But it still makes me laugh when I mix powdered milk in with the real milk to make it go further (a trick I learned from  my mother and swore I would never do).  It's back to the drawing board for me.  Dinner tonight is still a mystery.  Let's see what I can create with ground beef, soy sauce, and canned pears.  Macgyver style!  

(It might have seemed like an exaggeration, but my son did in fact pack his own lunch today and when I asked him what was in it he said he packed a steak.  I'm sure he won't draw attention in the lunchroom taking bites out of  a cold steak.  And I'm sure he won't use a fork and knife.  Corn on the cob style!  I don't make this stuff up.  This is my life.  And it's for real.  Don't judge me.)