Sweet Revenge

We took our family to our first baseball game of the season last Saturday.  It was cold outside and the wind was blowing miserably.  Huddled out in right field, Handsome and I were layered in hoodies and wrapped in quilts while the kids were off playing on the playground in shorts and t-shirts.  Whatevs.  We're good parents.

As the two of us sat there shivering and watching the game, a couple came and sat diagonally in front of us to our right, not to mention upwind.  Before long the couple started  to smoke.  Yes, we were enjoying face fulls of cigarette smoke.  Mmmmmm.  And so the cycle continued.  The wind blew.  They smoked.  We shivered.  We choked.  Wind.  Smoke.  Cough.  Repeat.  No worries.  Who needs manners and consideration?  Not me.  This solves the dilemma of my gas induced stomachache.  Next game I'll be sure to sit upwind from them and see how they like it.  It's the perfect combination of relieving my gut ache and getting revenge.  I wonder if they're aware of the deadly combination of a concession stand hot dog & a Mt. Dew.  ?  (maniacal laughter....hahahaha) 

Until next time, Mr. and Mrs. Smokey Smokerton.  Two can play at this game.

Crow Sandwich with a Side Dish of Crow

There are some things that I never thought I would shop for, buy, or ever do in all my life.  In fact, I may or may not have sworn publicly to some of those things I would never do.  For one I swore I would never let myself go after having children.  Oops.  I also promised that I would never wear mom jeans or embarrass my monkies.  But when mowing the lawn or on laundry days....ya know....and sometimes the embarrassing just comes so naturally.  I'm pretty sure I vowed to never hide Kleenex in my sleeve, sock, or bra.  Now I never leave the house without a couple stashed somewhere.  I know I never intended to drive a mini van.  But they're so practical.  I just can't say enough about those door buttons!  I remember making a secret pact that when I was a parent I would never yell demands and orders and then reply after being asked "why?" with a stern, hands on hips "because I said so, that's why".  Wow.  I swore that my children would never have snot running down their faces, messy hair, mismatched clothes, and they would never pick their nose and never ever eat it.  Yup.  You go naive super mom!  In what world does that happen?  I was confident when I saw a screaming child rolling on the floor at the grocery store that, "my child will never act like that".  But then again, after all that "cross my heart and hope to die" crap and then the loads of crow that I've eaten since, it shouldn't have shocked me when I found myself at Pet Smart on aisle 5 eating a super sized helping of delicious crow while pondering the pros and cons of different doggy diapers. 

It's just so unnatural.

But, mmmmmm, this crow is so tastey.  It tastes a lot like the crow I ate when I swore we wouldn't get another dog and then when we did I refused to take care of it.

Mmmmmm...another helping please.  Soooo good.

And I will never say never again.

(Wait a minute....)