Off To A Good Start

Christmas vacation with the kids home from school has been a blast!  It was very bitter sweet sending them off today and trying to get back into the swing of our "normal" life.  For the past week we've eaten junk food, stayed up late, slept in, and become zombies of technology with new phones, Ipods, and tablets.  As the responsible adult that I am in our home, I figured it was just temporary, so....enjoy! 

After a late night party full of junk food and soda on New Year's Eve, not only did Teeny Sister keep me up all night because she had a belly ache, but the much bigger sister, Lil G was up once again with one of her infamous stomach aches.  And let me explain that when Lil G is tired and complaining of something during the middle of the night she is not rationale but rather a total lunatic.  It is awful!  I, again being the responsible and compassionate mother that I am, faked asleep during round 1 of Lil G's tummy aches.  Handsome, however, was wide awake.  This is the conversation I overheard.

Lil G: Dad, my stomach hurts.  I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

Handsome: It's because you ate too much junk food.  G, go to sleep.

Lil G: Dad, I can't! (holding her belly)

Handsome: Well, you can either go to sleep and tough it out or I can punch you in the stomach and make you throw up so you can get it over with.  

Lil G: DAAAAAAD!  Can't I just sleep with you?

Handsome:  No.

Lil G: Why not?

Handsome: Because. 

Lil G: But it makes me feel better to sleep with you.  I don't wanna sleep downstairs.

Handsome: Too bad.  Go to bed.  

Lil G: Whhhhhhyyyyy?  Please?

Hansome: No.  It's not going to fix anything.  Come here and let me punch ya in the stomach.  You'll feel better once you throw up.

Lil G: Ugh! (stomping her foot)  

After G left the room I busted up laughing.  Handsome turned and started chuckling too.  I said, "So that is your solution?  Good parenting!"  We both laughed.  He, of course, would never hit her.  But we both knew that she wouldn't throw up either.  We know this because we play this game regularly.  It's not our first rodeo with Lil G!  Once Handsome fell asleep, Lil G started visiting my side of the bed for rounds 2, 3, and 4.  I took a more sensitive approach and didn't offer her a beating to initiate the upchuck of soda and candy that she had inhaled all night.  But I did not let her sleep in my bed either.   I knew, after years of experience, that she was half asleep and arguing with her would do nothing.  My strategy was to wear her down.  It was obvious that she was exhausted and would eventually fall asleep with or without a belly ache.  And she did.  

I'm not sure what your New Year's Resolutions are.  I'm not sure what mine are either.  That's my plan for this week is to put some together.  But to start the early hours of the new year off by listening to the above conversation not only gave me the resolve to be more patient and a better mother, but it also reminded me how grateful I am for Handsome and his twisted since of humor.  He makes me laugh everyday and I look forward to that in the upcoming year.  

Soap

I love you.  I hate you.  I don't know why.  But tell me, why is it too much to ask that you do not collect hair?  And why is it so blasted hard to get a hair off of you?  It's as if there is a magnetic force holding you together.  No matter how much I turn you around, no matter how many times I run you under the water, and no matter how many times I drop you, you still remain hairy.  Are you in love with the hair?  Perhaps even married?  Just go away, hair!  GO AWAY!  The hair just swirls and slithers like a snake around and around you.  It will not leave!  Not until I physically dig my fingers into you and grab the hair and remove it, which is EXACTLY WHAT I'M TRYING TO AVOID!  I don't want to touch it!  Just fall off!  Disappear!  I don't even care who's hairy body it fell off of.  Even if it's my hair, I loathe it!  And when I do get the hair off of you I have to re-lather and rewash my entire body because for some reason you now seem dirty to me.  Hairy soap is dirty!  Can soap be dirty?  Can you be dirty?  Isn't that an oxymoron?  Add this to my list of many issues.  And, no, Joey from "Friends", soap is not self cleaning!  

Our Kai Girl

Shortly after Handsome and I were married we got a dog.....or our first child if you will.  We weren't crazy and fanatical about our baby.  She was an outside dog.  A hunting dog.  And being the beautiful yellow lab that she was we knew she would someday be a big dog.  Although our "babying our baby" was scarce we loved her and enjoyed the newness of her energy and puppy breath kisses.  And for some reason, having a dog kind of made us more of a family.  I'm not sure why.

Kai was the smartest dog I've ever met.  Alcatraz didn't stand a chance with that pup.  She climbed kennels and jimmied locks.  Still to this day neither Handsome or I can figure out how she got out of a choke chain that we found laying in a straight line in the dirt.  Like I said....Houdini smart.  We tried everything to keep her contained and safe and to teach her not to bark.  After multiple embarrassing and aggravating middle of the night phone calls with neighbors we even invested in a bark collar.  That was hundreds of dollars well spent!  Kai had the collar off and buried within days.  We later found the collar in a shallow grave in her kennel.  

Although like most dogs Kai was full of shenanigans, she made up for her naughtiness on hunting trips.  Handsome swore she was one of the best dogs he'd ever had if not the best.  And year after year Kai and Handsome would venture out to hunt pheasants.  It's true what people say about a dog being a man's best friend.  And it makes sense.  Those two spent a lot of time together.  How could they not be best friends?  As a pup Kai would tag along to the milk barn and sit on the step while Handsome tended to the cows.  Then they'd go hunting and walking ditch banks between chores.  

As we welcomed kids into our family Kai was a sweetheart.  Never once did she nip or bite at them.  In fact, as she got older, she would lay in the yard by someone and just let them love on her.  She spent most of her days guarding the front porch and watching people come and go.  And the older she got the slower and more crotchety she got.  She took on the attributes of an old lady who enjoyed the company of others for short times but mostly wanted to be left alone.

We have added several other pets, mainly dogs, to our family over the years.  Some pets have been sold.  Others have died.  But Kai stayed year after year.  Just shy of 14 years old she recently passed away.  And although we always knew she would die, and knew that it would be sooner rather than later, it was still hard.  Last weekend Handsome dug a small grave in our garden and gathered the kids together to say goodbye to the dog that they have never known life without.  There was silence.  There were lots of tears.  But later that night there were also many prayers.  Said one of my babies with eyes closed and arms folded, "Thank you for letting Kai be part of our family.  Please help her to be happy and not hurt in heaven."  

Oh, how I love all of my babies!