It's been over 10 years now since I trained you as a new CNA at the hospital. But that makes this apology even that much more embarrassing. I remember that 12 hour shift vividly. You were a single college student new to the hospital practices of taking vitals, wiping butts, and changing sheets. I was newly married, 45 pounds overweight, and 7 months pregnant with my first child. We were working together in ICU that day and had just entered the first room to the right of the nurse's station. As we discussed what our plan of attack on our patient would be and conveyed those plans to our unsuspecting prisoner, I bent over to do something. Much to my dismay I passed gas. It wasn't much. Just a little pop. I straightened up wondering if anyone else had noticed my accident, and then in an attempt to cover my tracks explained that my hip had popped. "It's a chronic problem of mine," I explained. "My left hip pops frequently without notice. Sometimes it sounds like something it isn't, which is the case right now." You, being the New Guy, didn't argue with my story although being a conscious human with ears and a brain I'm sure you knew better. All these years I've remembered that day with both embarrassment and humor. After all, when you're overweight and carrying a basketball in your stomach, you're thrilled when a fart is the only thing that squeezes by unexpectedly. But being the honest woman that I am, I will admit that I fabricated the story of my hip popping. I did in fact pass gas. And here I am years later apologizing for my bad manners and little white lie. Please forgive me, New Guy. It won't happen again. And even if it did, I have four children that I'd blame it on now.
Sincerely,
Me
