Hoorah!

It's time for Back to School.  And although the kids and I have had our ups and downs this summer, I decided to give them an End Of Summer Hoorah!  I know.  I'm cute.  I do what I can.  So the kids and I headed down to the city have a sleep over with my brother and his darling family.  When we got to their place we had some dinner, took a walk to the park, found an old golf ball on our way, went back to their house, sawed open the golf ball to discover the weirdest innards I've ever seen, and then started setting up for our "sleep out" on the deck.  That's right!  Cokin (my SIL)  insisted that we sleep outside and obviously my kids were down with that.  So as we lay there in our sleeping bags looking at the stars and listening to sirens in the distance, Lil' G read to us from her joke book and we all laughed until we finally fell asleep.  Amazingly the kids slept through the night.  It was a good night.

The following morning Cokin and I packed up the kiddos and headed for the zoo.  We saw every animal from the baby elephant to the snakes and even made it in time for the bird show.  (Did I mention that Aunt Cokin participated in the bird show?  Good times!)  And although this was not my first trip to the zoo, my kids and Cokin taught me some new things.  First of all I learned that if you howl at the monkeys they will howl back.  Between Cokin and Ranger, there was some serious conversation going on.  Second of all Ranger explained to us how he was certain that one giraffe was a boy and one was a girl.  Afterall, one had a "wilford".  And last but not least we learned that the gorilla has extremely poor hygiene.  Cokin pointed out that he needs help wiping or he's gonna get a rash.  True dat, sista.  And don't think that we went out looking for these inappropriate life lessons.  The gorilla literally stuck his rear end up against the glass.  Not our fault!  Isn't it the responsibility of a good parent to turn everyday experiences into teaching opportunities?  Just sayin'.

So back to school, back to school!  Hope everyone had an end of summer hoorah that was as rad and educational as ours.  If not, get on it!  There's still time.

Some of My Secret Confessions

I'll Admit....

• As a child I was afraid to dress/undress in front of the TV if Mr. Rogers was on.  I thought he could see me.  Creepy.
• Someone recently tried to scam me out of thousands of dollars when I tried to sell something in the classifieds.  But, nope.  I'm too smart.  Sucka!
• I try to hide things from my hairdresser like products I do/do not use on my hair.  I just play along when she comments on how dry my hair is.  (oops!)  (and BTW way, if you're my hairdresser and reading this, I'm totally kidding!)
• I love fall and winter just so I don't have to shave my legs as often.  Pants are glorious.
• I painted on a toenail where my original one fell off.  Just admire it from a distance.
• I've secretly hidden in the bathroom or my bedroom to eat a treat without my kids knowing.  I mean, I love my kids, but somedays I just don't wanna share.  I just wanna eat my candybar or ice cream in peace.  Is that too much to ask?
• I have a child that my mother always threatened me with.  "Someday I hope you have a daughter just like you!"  Wish granted, Mom. 
• When I was a child my neighbor told me a story about a snake in the sewer system that had come up through the toilet and killed a man.  I never peed the same again.

• One of my goals in life was to be a professional football player.  I grew out of that and decided I would just marry one.  I grew out of that too.  But, oh, how you will always have a special place in my heart, Steve.
• My brother and I have texting competitions.  Whoever texts the best poem wins.  I remain undefeated.  (LOL!)
• I entered a coloring contest once to win a pony.  I roped off a corner of our backyard for my pet before the contest was even over.  I was confident I would win.  I was also confident that my 3x5' yarn fence would restrict my horse.  (Sidenote:  I was 7.)
• My record is eating 12 donuts in one day.  12! 

• I am currently trying to get tickets to Oprah.  It's the final season, yo!
• I blog only in hopes of making others feel more normal.  I know I'm a little off.  And I'm okay with it.  Do you feel better about yourself now?

Gourmet Food

 

Last night I sat dumbfounded as I watched a commercial about dog food that looked prettier than what I feed my own family.  It was made with beef chunks and baby spinach.  Advertised were a variety of flavors including Steak Florentine, Grilled Chicken Primivara, Tuscan Style Stew with Beef, and Steak Tips Sonoma Style Flavor.  I am a crazy bad housewife if people are feeding that to their dogs.  Some nights my family is chowing on cold cereal or peanut butter sandwiches. 

Being a dog owner & lover myself, I know that my dog would turn her nose up at baby spinach.  If she felt otherwise she would've rummaged through my garden.  So, Point 1 - why are dogs/cats on TV eating better than humans in other parts of the world (including the humans in my house)?  Point 2 - who in their right mind serves their pet dinner on a glass or silver platter like shown on the commercials?  I use paper plates whenever possible with my humans.  Who wants to wash dishes after their family is done eating let alone their pets? 

Ummmmm.....anyone?