Spray Tan

I've never had a spray tan.  I've always been curious about them and wanted one.  With my fair skin I'm always in need of a little color.  Especially because, as we all know, tan fat is much cuter than white fat.  Since I have a family and personal history of skin cancer I am opposed to using both the tanning bed and the sun for that sun kissed look.  Too risky.  So a tan without the risk of cancer is very appealing to me.  Or should I say "was". 

I recently heard that when you get a spray tan they spray your under carriage.  

Uhhhhhhh....

Tap...tap.  Yup.  That's the sound of me tapping out.  I'm done.  No thanks.  Buh-bye!

Sorely disappointed by this new found information about spray tans I found myself sauntering down the aisles of Walmart investigating the bottles of "do-it-yourself" spray tans.  I know.  Orange disaster waiting to happen!  Surprisingly, other than the fact that I can't spray it evenly on myself because of the awkward nature that I have to twist and turn to hit all my critical areas, (under carriage not included), it's not bad!  The do-it-yourself tan has come a long way since 1998.  (standing ovation!!!)  The first few times I used it I sprayed a nice light mist onto my legs and arms.  By spray 5 I was feeling a little bit more brave, and again, the thought pops into my head, "tan fat is cuter than white fat".  So I spray more generously on my thighs and other problem areas.  This little bottle is not only going to solve my tanning dilemma but will certainly assist in boosting my self esteem!  Win-win!  

Wrong.

There should be a disclaimer on the bottle that warns of excessive use over bumpy or crevice distraught areas.  So FYI to the rest of you, the do-it-yourself mist does not hit the inner areas of small indentations hence the magnification of my lovely postpartum stretch marks.  Ummmmm....yea.  Not cool.  Very not cool!  At this point it will either take a putty knife or a professional spray tan (under carriage and all) to even out this color.  Wish me luck!

Drops of Awesome

As a mom, wife, sister, daughter, neighbor, and friend I often feel inadequate.  I am a guilt person.  I feel guilt about everything.  I feel guilt about forgetting to sign my kids up for basketball.  I feel guilt when we don't have enough groceries in the house.  I feel guilt when I sleep in late and am still a zombie when my kids leave for school.  I feel guilt when I think negative thoughts about my husband and children, especially when I say them out loud.  I feel guilt when I can't get my jeans on.  I feel guilt when I chose sleep over the gym.  I feel guilt when I can't make it through the day without a Dew.  I feel guilt when we don't have any clean spoons for breakfast.  I feel guilt when I yell at my kids.  I feel guilt when I'd rather watch "Say Yes to the Dress" than play Slap Jack with my daughter.  I feel guilt daily.  And I have always just assumed that most women and mothers are the same way.  I still like to believe that because for some reason it brings me peace and some added confidence to feel like I'm "normal".  Why is it so hard to admit and recognize that I'm not as bad at my job as I think I am?  I don't know.  But it is.  So when I read the following blog post from a woman I've never met, I realized that 1) I'm not alone in my feelings, and 2) I need to celebrate the many things I do well each day and let my so-called failures slide off my back.  

Especially with Easter tomorrow I wanted to share this story.  Please take the time to read it.  It will not disappoint.  It not only expresses how I often feel as a mother but reminds us all that we are not alone in this journey.  Happy Easter!  Help yourself to a few extra drops of awesome!

Gasping For Air

It has been a long long long time since my last blog post.  There is part of me that has really missed jotting down my thoughts and the random happenings of my life.  But then there is that other part of me that didn't miss Squeaky-Poo one bit because I've been too busy NOT LOSING MY MIND!!!!

Okay.  That might be overly dramatic.  But I will say that since my last post I have mothered 5 children on a daily basis, worked part time, been an extraordinary wife (cough, cough, exaggeration), moved into a new home, rocked the holidays, waited out the winter, and, well, ya know.......survived.  Yep.  That's the most important.  Survival.  Cuz the truth is, there have been days (more than I can count) in the past year that have been so crazy, so stressful, so chaotic, and so challenging that it has taken every ounce of patience and Mt. Dew that I could gather to just survive.  Who knew?  I suck at this!  And I am neither joking nor fishing for compliments.  This is 100% raw honesty at it's finest for all you over achiever mothers.  Moving is hard.  Having a new baby is hard.  Having 5 kids is hard.  Working from home is hard.  Being a wife is hard.  Cooking and cleaning are hard.  Shaving my legs is hard.  Zipping up my jeans is hard.  Getting out of bed is hard!  But I'm proud to say that I have pushed through the hard, and yes, not only have I survived but I am quite enjoying the journey.  Love it in fact.  

Love it!

I'm not quite sure how long or how often I'll be able to keep up the blogging.  I'm quite awful at it in fact.  But it is somewhat therapeutic for me to unload some of my thoughts.  So I'm not throwing in the towel yet.  I can not, however, promise or commit to how often I'll blog or even that my posts will be worth reading.  But I can promise that they will be completely truthful.  Because life is hard.  I do suck at my job.  But my monkeys haven't fired me yet (knock on wood) so I'll be back at it in the morning.  And let me just applaud all of you women out there whether you're a stay at home mom or a working mom or both.  You are amazing!  How do you do it?!!!!