Dang You, Tooth Fairy!

"Dear Tooth Fairy,

I lost a tooth.  Did you know that I pulled it out myself?  I have some questions for you. Are you a girl or a boy and will you please not write cursive?  What color is your hair and eyes?  I want to ask you an important question.  Can we write notes to each other and answer questions that we have?  Also what is your name?  And your friends names?  Do you have a favorite sport?  And if you want to ask me questions you can.  Are you the same Tooth Fairy everytime?  What is your favorite color?  What are you wearing?  What do you do for a living?  Do you have a family and kids?  How many kids do you have?  What are their names and ages?  What order do they go in?  Are they girls or boys?  Where do you get the money for the kids?  Do you give toys?  Where do you live?  How old are you?  What do you look like?  Please don't take my tooth!  I left a paper and a pen so you can write back.  Leave the tooth, money, paper and pen on the dresser.

Love, Me"

This is the actual letter my daughter left for the Tooth Fairy last night.  Unfortunately the Tooth Fairy didn't show up to read the novel that had been left for her.  Dang you, Tooth Fairy!  But to defend the Tooth Fairy, had she shown up to take the tooth that my daughter had lost, she most likely wouldn't have found it.  There was a note under my daughter's pillow explaining where to find the tooth.  The poor Tooth Fairy probably didn't have time or patience for a treasure hunt in the middle of the night.  I for one am a very upset parent.  This is not the first time the Tooth Fairy has slacked on the job.  It's time I took action.  My poor children got jipped when it came to designating Tooth Fairy assignments.  Can we get a do over?  

Chalk one up for me for "Mother of the Year".  Watch out other candidates.  I'm gaining speed quickly.  And, yes, the Tooth Fairy really does look like this.