10 Signs You Need a Boob Job

1- Your daughter says, "Dad, you have bigger boobs than mom."
2- You go shopping for a bra and can't find the "Inverted" section.
3- While getting a breast exam at the doctor's office the doctor says, "If there was a lump I'd definitely feel it.  I'm rubbing right on your ribs."
4- You go shopping for a swimming suit and can't fill up the smallest cup size they carry.  You figure with all the padding in the bra you'll be fine until you accidently bump the padding and it caves in leaving a permanent indentation.
5- You have to pour your boobs into your bra and still don't fill it up.
6- You could describe your breasts as "an orange in the bottom of a tube sock" or even better, a Ritz cracker in the bottom of a tube sock.
7- As an adolescent you were nicknamed "Mosquito Bites" and 15 years later graduated to the nickname "Pancake". 
8- During a breast exam you ask your OBGYN if this is what it's like to do an exam on a 12-year-old boy and he nods.
9- Your daughter asks, "Do you just have nipples?"
10- You end up settling for the mastectomy swimsuit because it's cheaper and less painful than breast augmentation.