Dear Puberty

Dear Puberty,

Why are you bothering me?  I'm pretty sure I kicked you to the curb 15 years ago (cough, cough....okay....maybe 8 years ago).  People of my maturity should not be pestered by acne of this severity.  Why...oh why must you torture me?  As if the first go 'round wasn't painful and humiliating enough.  You could argue that I'm married.  What does it matter if I'm covered in zittage?  You could also argue that I must not have a life, any self respect or remaining dignity since a husband and four children are at home waiting for me.  Is that what you think?  If so, you are sorely mistaken.  I may not have much of a life, but what little of it is left I'm holding onto with a white-knuckle grip.  For the record, I have more self respect today then I did during my first encounter with you and your plague of puberty triggered facial diseases.  And as for dignity....okay...you've got me there.  I lost all but a shred of that during four pregnancies and birthing four children and exposing myself to the world.  I still loathe the human being that invented stirrups.  Can't you see that I've suffered enough?  Please, please, please leave me alone and take your facial oil and scarring sores with you.  Today at the store the lady at the checkout counter couldn't seem to find my eyes on my face.  All she looked at was my "growth".  I wonder if this is how women with big boobs feel.  Nobody looks you in the eye anymore.  My kids look at my face inspecting my over sized pimples with expressions of concern.  Like a car wreck you try to look away but you just can't.  I should put myself out of this misery and squeeze my shoulders.  I'm curious to see if that alone would solve all my worries.  What you are doing to me is disgusting.  And whether or not this is inappropriate to publicly admit this, it is my life.  It is true.  Puberty you are evil.  Enjoy your 60 seconds of blog fame and go torment the high school kids.  Leave me alone!

Sincerely,

Me