Short Stories

Bending Over Backwards

My daughters were trying to teach themselves how to do back bends from a standing position.  I was surprised to hear that while in the shower one morning one of my girls tried to do a back bend in the shower.  When I asked her why she replied, Well, I needed to pick up the soap so I figured I'd do a back bend to grab it.  

Uhhhhh....That makes perfect sense!

Still having a hard time wrapping my brain around this I asked her if she was able to do it.  She said that, no, it ended badly.  She slipped and fell on her head.  

Holy crap!  If that visual doesn't make you laugh I don't know what will!

Flying Dishes

I was sitting at my daughter's soccer game on a Saturday morning by myself.  This was especially rare since I usually have a train of little people following me wherever I go.  I had left the four other kiddos home to get their Saturday jobs done and play with the baby rather than take her out in the cold.  I thought I'd be able to sit and enjoy the soccer game for the first time all year.  But no.  My phone continued to ring and ring and ring.  I answered the phone to hear screaming on the other end of the line.  I asked what was going on.  The reply was, "Mom!  CJ is throwing plates at us!"  I was totally confused.  

"What?" I asked.  

"CJ is throwing plates at us!  And I can't eat breakfast because he won't let me use a bowl!"

I knew I needed to get to the bottom of whatever fiasco was happening at my house.  All I could visualize was plates flying across the room which is exactly what every mother wants going on when she's away from home.  Glass plates?  Paper plates?  Plastic plates?  What are we dealing with here?  What will the damage be by the time I get home?

Apparently, CJ was in charge of doing the dishes that day and was in the process of loading and unloading the dishwasher.  The other kids came into the kitchen to eat breakfast, which, in turn, would create more work for CJ.  And CJ didn't want more dishes to clean.  DUH!!!  So he started throwing plastic plates at his brother and sister to keep them out of the kitchen and then he held the breakfast bowls hostage.

Sadly, the only thing that kept popping into my head was, "At least he's not throwing knives!"

Yes.  I am still in the running for Mother of the Year.  Pretty sure I've got it in the bag!