Mmmmmmmm.....crisp wafers....chocolate....1-2-3-4....King Size....5-6-7-8....break me off a piece of that little piece of heaven. Or break me off 8 pieces. Whatevs. Four just doesn't cut it for a hormonal chocolate driven woman. Just sayin'. And look what I discovered when I went to open my Kit-to-the-Kat crispy wafers.
TO OPEN
Lift Flap and Tear at End
What the? Instructions as to how I can get into my chocolate treat even faster? Genius!
Or is it?
The way I initially took this message was, "Look, morons who are without a brain, this is how civilized people open their candy bars." I was dumbfounded. Really? Do we need instructions to open our food? I mean, true, a bag of chips can often be a little sketchy. Do you pop it like a balloon, rip the end, or pull the two sides? Same for the inner bag of a box of cereal. Those suckers are compressed and glued to keep out varmints and people alike. I usually end up reaching for scissors and cutting the bag open. But really? Are we that dumb that we can't at least be creative and resourceful if we can't seem to break through the Kit Kat fortress? The way I look at it is it's a natural instinct to rip from the end. Duh! Thanks for stating the obvious. And if that doesn't work, try prying the sides apart. What? Still no success? Well then, use your teeth. And if still, you find yourself hungry and without chocolate exposed, try a knife, scissors, toothpick, nail file, shark, chainsaw, hand grenade, or perhaps your brain!!!
Because I love Kit Kat I will admit that the thoughtful instructions do contribute to a fast and flawless attack of getting fatter as quickly as possible. There is absolutely no wasting time getting those 420 calories from the store shelf and into my thighs when I know how to do the job right.
Thank you Kit Kat. I will never wonder or hesitate while infiltrating your beautiful red wrapper again. You have enlightened me.
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